Blog Moved!

I've been dot-commed!!! :D My new blog link is www.vidyagk.com Thanks to Srijith! :-)

10 things you don't know about me and stuff..

Kris tagged me. This is gonna be tough.. 10 things u donno about me? Lets see.. 1. I tend to forget things very easily [Must work on it, I know] 2. I am very very very sensitive. The slight change of tone and facial expression pulverizes me! [Must work on that too] 3. I was a Guide while I was in school [Guide as in Scouts and Guides.. fyi..! I have the uniform even now!] 4. I used to imitate my brother a lot. So, was a little boyish until I joined for Fashion Tech! 5. I used to have a crush on a guy when I was in 8th, becoz he resembled Sourav Ganguly, my favorite cricketer during that time! [Got over the crush very soon :-)] 6. I do not entertain practical jokes. I hate them. [Now that you know it, don't blame me if I kick ur a**! You were warned!!] 7. I am not comfortable with children. [Not babies, just small kids. Donno how to make a conversation that entertains both of us :-(] Okay thats 7 things you donno about me.. I can't think of anything else other than some top secret things which I'm never going to tell!!! :D This is my first post of the year, Happy New Year! And know what? No filthee New Yeer resolyooshuns fer thees yeer!! Like I wish myself all the time, and like I wished the others this time, may I become a better person this year!! And speaking of resolutions, I changed my blog layout to fit 1024x768 screens. Hows the change? Btw.. Ajith, Aravind, Arun, Kiran, Overclocked Fragger, Raghav, Rajesh, Revathy, Sp^wN, Sreeram, Srijith, Suraj and Tarun.. You've all been tagged...! :P Sanish, I know u can't.. But don't be left out!! :D

Questions... Part 1

Have u felt unwanted ever in ur life so far? When u r surrounded by ur parents, cousins and even friends..... Have u felt so? If u haven't, consider urself lucky... If u have, I donno what to tell u... There r times in life, when no matter how much u struggle to be someone, people do not take u seriously... Deep inside, u feel no-one really cares about what u think or what u r.. Well, sometimes, u feel that people don't even know that u exist.. And no matter how loud u shout, ur screams r unheard.. No matter how bright u dress, people do not notice u.. Times when people see through u... And u know that u ain't wearing that invisibility cloak.. Have u ever gone through that phase of life? Have I ever gone through that phase of life? Maybe... Maybe not...

After the storm comes the calm? Sure??

It WAS a violent storm indeed... One of the very awaited days of my college life... November 24th... The final result of our Craft Documentation programme. More than the urge to know which group will get the 'Best Collection' and 'Best Documentary' was the urge to see the grand finale to the days of practicing... I was in charge of a few things, incl. the music for the show. Everything did not go as fine as I thought it would go... The idiotic Delhi group models were too slow on stage and their music finished even before they made the final formation before leaving stage. They had to leave without music and guys [ from SB college, i suppose ] did what they do best.... hooting, howling, whistling and screaming...... I had warned all the Delhi models in the morning that this might happen and so they'll have to walk faster when they messed up during the stage practice... They had been doing everything great till the previous day... But once they got on stage, they screwed up... I played the next track, but it didn't start until they all were gone.. Everything went almost fine till the last part of that day's programme. And as usual, singing the national anthem was the last part... Oh God!! I don't even wanna think about it!!!! It went, "Jana gana mangala dhayaka jaya he........" "Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha uchchala aashish mange......... " [too bad i can't remember the rest]. Its quite possible that our senior, the girl from the third year must not have tried singing the national anthem in a long long time... So she tried fitting the words "uchchala" "mange" "aashisha" "taranga" etc into the tune, wherever she pleased, to make it appear as good and similar as the original national anthem!! Again guys did a very good job.... When she stopped in between, one of the faculty grabbed the mic and started screaming, "VINDHYA HIMACHALA YAMUNA GANGA............." on top of her voice and made it sound much more frightful than before..... The guys were given no rest...... Yes, it was a disaster... I could sense my skin peeling off.... But these are just the icing on the cake... isn't that the right metaphor? Anyways, what I mean to say is that, Nov 24th was the day of climax to a lot more of stuff other than the Craft Doc. It was an end to a lot of fake smiles, fake understanding, fake co-operation, fake love.. In short, an end to a fake ME.. The thing that has been bothering me for 6 months, the venom of fake friendship I've been having is finally over.... It feels great to be the real 'me' again.. Looking back and then forwarding to the present, I clearly understand the sole reason behind all the failures. The only thing I faked everything for, the one thing that I didn't wanna mess up, its over, and all pain, no gain is my situation.. No.. I don't wanna weigh the pros and cons now.. Its too late.. And this is not the place where I wanna do it.. Rather, I'll think about something else... Something that went unnoticed the last year.. Something that was accidentally focussed on this year.. And something that shouldn't be probably left unnoticed. I was talking about stopping a fake friendship before.. Let me think, if everyone were to stop every fake friendship they had, how many people will still have friends? Forget about the others, how many friends will I have? The thought is frightfully disturbing... The number of fake smiles I bring on my face everyday and the ones that are returned makes my heart skip a beat... I can feel my eyes widen while I'm thinking about it.. i know that some friends of mine are just faking it. Do they know that I'm doing it too? Then why do we keep on doing it again? I can remember lots of precious moments when I smiled and laughed with people, without having to fake it.. And I can remember lots of moments when I tried hard to bring a smile on my face during conversations. I know I hate that person. And I can figure out why. So why can't I just be myself? Why should I fake friendship? Probably because things would be very awkward if I be myself. Its just a matter of one more year... I know that I might meet more people of those types in future.. I know I can't go on faking it forever.. [ or can I? ] And I must learn to genuinely co-operate someday.. I am trying.. But when the others do not do so, they get on my nerves. Like a friend said, its okay to be nice, but never a doormat..

For October's sake...

Sreeram tagged me long back... So here goes..! Ten Years Ago I was 10 years old... 1. Was studying in Holy Angels ISC School in 5th standard...! Our friends gang of 6, named VAMS was formed! It later became a very popular gang! 2. I was grounded at home for helping a happy couple in my school van. I was the messenger! :D 3. Went out of Kerala (to Delhi) for the first time in my life! 4. Was reluctant to wear jeans and skirts! Stuck to frocks!! :D 5. I was cute!! Five Years Ago I was 15 years old... 1. Studying in 10th standard at Holy Angels ISC School. Afraid of board exams.... 2. First chance to talk with boys of my same age at the tuition centre!! Never did that since 4th standard!! 3. Found a new interest, chatting!! Thus, got many friends around the world.. 4. A guy proposed for the first time in my life!!! And I ran away from him!!! :D 5. Joined for a group dance for the first time in my life!!! it was during the interhouse competition at school... and got the first prize!!! yay!! Last One Year I was 19 years old... 1. Joined for fashion technology in Assumption College after a long struggle!!! 2. I started blogging! Got to know many people from orkut too, which i joined the year before... 3. Found the most wonderful guy on earth, and fell in love with him..!!! :D 4. That same guy proposed to me on Aug 24, 2005 at 2:35AM!! usually i don't remember dates.. but this one, i won't forget!!!! :P 5. [can't think of anything mentionable!! :-"] Yesterday 1. Was sunday. 2. made some efforts to create the book about haryana!!!! 3. went to see srijith 4. tried 'mango waltz'. mango flavored ice-cream with mango jam in it... lots of mango jam... yuck!!!! 5. started filling this blog entry! :D Five Things Planned for next 5 Years 1. Get a good job with a good pay! 2. Visit london, paris and new york 3. Make money to visit all these places!! :D 4. Get a very very very close friend.. Or if I have already got such a friend, realize who he/she is... :( 5. Get married!! Five Yummy Things 1. Chocolates 2. Lays 3. Butter chicken 4. Mutter paneer and Nan [from Swadi, Delhi] 5. Chana Masala and Nan [from Swadi, Delhi] Five Songs I know by heart 1. Fools Garden - Lemon Tree 2. Linkin Park - Breaking the Habit 3. Gangster - Tu Hi Mera Shab Hai 4. Meeshamadhavan - Karimizhi Kuruviye 5. Zeher - Woh Lamhe Five Things I'd do If I had Money 1. Buy all the smart electronic gadgets!! 2. Buy lots of clothes 3. Build my dreamhouse... [its a small house, dont worry!] 4. Do some charity work 5. Travel around the world!! Places I Escape to 1. Lonely planet vids 2. My room 3. My mobile 4. My mp3/cd player 5. Books [comics... asterix, mainly!!] TV Shows 1. Friends 2. Joey 3. Caroline in the City 4. Dexter's Laboratory 5. Ally McBeal Five Things I Can't Live Without 1. All whom i love 2. Shelter 3. Food, clothing, water, air [its a package! :D] 4. Communication 5. Information access Five Things I Can Live Without 1. TV serials, stupid comedy shows, dial up for a whole lot of crap talk and then listen to stupid song shows etc.... 2. Stuffed toys 3. Other toys 4. hair conditioner [garnier fructis long and strong shampoo is more than enough!! :D] 5. Cycles [I don't need them anymore!! :-"] Five Favourite Ethnic Cuisines 1. Indian [obviously!! :D] 2. Chinese 3. Thai 4. [haven't tried any other] 5. [honestly, i haven't!!] Five best places to visit Of all that I've ever visited?? 1. Kerala 2. Bangalore 3. Delhi 4. Goa 5. Kerala again! Its bigger in size than the other 3 anyway! :D I intend to tag Ajith Hussain Aravind V Arun Kunjunny Kiran R Kris Raghav Malhotra Rajesh M Sanish N S Srijith V Suraj A B Tarun Jacob Thomas

Today's Mood..

Memories consume Like opening the wound I’m picking me apart again You all assume I’m safe here in my room (unless I try to start again) I don’t want to be the one The battles always choose ‘Cause inside I realize That I’m the one confused I don’t know what’s worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don’t know why I instigate And say what I don’t mean I don’t know how I got this way I know it’s not alright So I’m Breaking the habit Tonight Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again I hurt much more Than anytime before I had no options left again I’ll paint it on the walls ‘Cause I’m the one at fault I’ll never fight again And this is how it ends I don’t know what’s worth fighting for Or why I have to scream But now I have some clarity To show you what I mean I don’t know how I got this way I’ll never be alright So I’m Breaking the habit Breaking the habit Tonight Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit

Holidays...

On a beginning note, I'd like to pray for Ms. Neelima Thampan, our HOD, who passed away on 4th of September. All of us at the department knew that she had some kind of health problems that made her stay single till now.. But we never thought that it would be so serious.. She was just 29 years old, and her death is something that was least expected... May her soul rest in peace.. My Onam vacation started on 1st September. I started my vacation by fighting with Neo!!! It was a good fight and lasted for two days! By the end of the second day of my vacation, I was starting to feel that I was missing something.... I didnt get that festival feeling inside me eventhough Onam was so near... I didnt even get any vacation feeling.. It was like my usual weekends... btw.. On 31st, we had Onam celebrations at college and it sucked big time.. We all were told to be clad in Kerala's traditional outfit, the set and mundd or set-saree. For what? For absolutely nothing!! I hate walking around when I am wearing saree.. And this time, I had to walk from house (the rented house that I'm living in..) to college... just for the sake of attendence.. thats all... Oh I could have gone without gettin the damn attendence, awrite? The five of us.. Anju, Shalin, Shinu, Sreelekshmi and I were loitering in the department looking for the others. We were expecting everybody to be there, but to our surprise, all the smartasses had already scrammed homewards..... :( So we decided to go back, Shalin and I to the hostel and the others to the auditorium to watch the onam celebrations... Both of us had to vacate hostel that day, which was a tough job esp when one is wearing a tough garment like saree..! Its not anything about saree, its the fact that I am not used to it that makes it difficult to wear it... Anyways, there was a suitcase and a hell lotta plastic bags to carry out.. It contained all my study material like books, sheets, colors and stuff... I was halfway out of the hostel (and somewhat of the saree too, i think!) when some juniors came and helped the poor me.. After we reached the house, we resumed the work in kitchen that we were on from the previous day!! The Onasadya!!! The 7 of us, the sweet inmates of the house had also four guests, 2 girls from our class and 2 others, friends of us... girls.. obviously!!! :P We had made an Onasadya consisting of rice, sambar, avial, rasam, upperi, paripp, maanga achar, pulissery, pappadam, semiya payasam and pazham neatly spread on a thooshanila!! The sadya was great! We took turns to serve and everybody had enjoyed that day with lots of laughter, fun and food!! Eversince this day, I never enjoyed like that during my vacation! Didn't go out anywhere to see the illuminations in the city.. And I really really wanted to get on the giant wheel this time!! Every year this fair comes and in my life, I've never been on a giant wheel ever... :(( Tomorrow is the day.. I might go out tomorrow, providing that I finish my work in time... btw.. when did it become my work?? The documentary is supposed to be a team-work and I am the only one out of the five of us wasting my holidays over it.. Well.. not that I'm complaining.. I love movie editing... I have made a pretty good script and hopes to come out with a good documentary.. Anyway, I think this blog's becoming too long than i expected... So hoping for a nice tomorrow (or today?), I'm goin to sleep! Khuda hafiz!

F5

Refreshed.... I really needed a refreshing ever since my craft documentation (shortened as CD) programme. The long absence from my daily routine has changed me from my usual track. I used to spend a lot of time browsing, mainly Orkutting, Y! chatting and forwarding interesting mails... (No, I have a life) But now I rarely come online, and I am too lazy to reply to scraps (thinking of leaving Orkut to be more exact) or to forward any mails... I read them if the subject is interesting enough to lure me into seeing it! I haven't blogged for a long time.. (stating the obvious!) But now I can't think of anything to discuss about... Classes started on Aug 1st. We were told to submit our designs and the edited documentary by the end of this month. The teacher has given a very tight schedule.. and I don't think that anything will actually go by it! We were chillin out too much during CD and during the half month vacation. I saw Superman Returns. What a waste of time!!! I read some good books too... By the way, I read "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed Got Wild And Got A Life" during vacation and is now recommending it to everyone who reads books! Ahem... As I was saying, we were enjoying so much for the last two months, and now nobody has come out of that holiday mood!!! Everyone is feeling lazy and does not even wanna think about the fashion show!! Exams are starting tomorrow btw.. There are two theory papers and three practicals from S1 and three from S2. Donno when the practicals are gonna be, but the theories are on 17th and 21st. Fortunately, none on my b'day!!! Oh well I forgot.. This year, I am gettin out my teens and my Dad is there to celebrate it with me!!! Home has become so sweet eversince his arrival, and thats one reason why I find it so difficult to go to college!! Fortunalely, I haven't missed any classes till now!! Oh there is one more thing... I ain't staying at hostel anymore....! Yippeeee!!! :P Today, Aug 16th has a big speciality... Exactly an year before, Srijith and I met for the first time!!! And today we met again, for the umpteenth time!!!! :D

A Music tag…

Very long since my last post.. Before I could post a blog about my Delhi Expedition, I got tagged by Srijith. You play your whole music collection with shuffle on, ask the question, leave a comment and go to next song. 1. How does the world see you? Britney Spears - Overprotected People think that I am overprotected??? 2. Will I have a happy life? Aqua - Good Guys Definitely!!! Thats exactly how its gotta be!!!! ;) 3. What do my friends think of me? Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road Trippin Road trips?? Yesss!!!! :D Lets go road trippin!!! 4. Do people secretly lust after me? Bryan Adams - You're Still Beautiful To Me "Turn off the lights.. close the door.. Put ur head on the pillow.. let me keep u warm.. I wanna run my hands across your face.. Yeah lyin beside u still the perfect place.." Lust?? Or Love?? :P 5. How can I make myself happy? Bryan Adams - Where Angels Fear To Tread What..? I'll be happy when I go where angels fear to tread? Oh no!!!! Thats gonna be tough!! 6. What should I do with my life? Richard Marx - Heaven Knows Oh c'mon....!!!! U gotta say sumthin better than that!! 7. Will I ever have children? Jennifer Lopez - We gotta talk "Baby come n talk to me... Together we can work this out!!!!" :D 8. What is some good advice for me? The Corrs - Dreams Yeah... Everything begins with a dream.... "Dreams give rise to aspiration, which in turn leads to the motivation that inspires action, bringing about results.." 9. How will I be remembered? Westlife - Every Little Thing You Do Everyone will remember me because of every little thing that I did? "Coz every little thing u do.. makes me wanna fall in love with u..." ;) Yeah??? 10. What’s my signature dancing song? Kylie Minogue - Spinning Around hmm.. not a bad one... 11. What’s my current theme song? J'Lo and Marc Antony - No Me Ames My theme song??? THIS????? 12. What do others think is my current themesong? Westlife - Bop Bop Baby Now why wud anyone think that this is my themesong??????? 13. What shall they play at my funeral? Bryan Adams - When You're Gone "Baby when u're gone.. I realize that I'm in love.." Now thats sad.. :(( 14. What type of men/women do I like? Enrique Iglesias - Bailamos Bailamos means 'We danced' acc to Googe Translate.. So I like men who dance? Yeah!!!! I do! :P 15. How’s my love life? Red Hot Chili Peppers - Around The World Around the world.....?? As in travelling around the world?? 8-> And I intend to tag : Ajith Hussain Aravind V Arun Kunjunny Kiran R Raghav Malhotra Rajesh M Sanish N S Sreeram Warrier Suraj A B Tarun Jacob Thomas Happy Blogging People!! :P

Fear of death..

Lately, I discovered something... I am afraid of death.. I never used to have this kind of a fear before. I was never afraid to die, nor was I afraid to hear news of death. But now, everytime I read about somebody's death in the newspaper, everytime I see a rather emotional scene on TV, I just go numb. I can't take any news of anybody's death. Its just not death, I think.. I cannot take any bad news, coming to think about it. I used to be very sensitive.. But not as sensitive as I am now.... I mean.. I did notice the change, but I never gave it a thought until I dropped a few tears over the death of Suryanarayan, the Indian engineer who got killed by terrorists recently. I have never heard of him before.. I didnt even read the news about his captivity.. I know only about the news of his death... But wasn't it really sad? Just a thought about his wife and children and a look at their pic made me feel a lump in my throat.... Is it just a deep concern? Or is it some kind of a phobia? Necrophobia, I think, is the name given to fear of death.. Do I suffer from it? I want everyone I know to be safe and sound, so I have started this new habit of praying for all whom I know.... For the last few weeks, I was crazy enough to not pick up phone calls late at night and early in the morning in fear of getting bad news....! Luckily I have got that one out of my system!! I ain't afraid of phone calls at night or morning anymore, but I am afraid of death still... During the last one year, I had to witness three really unexpected deaths and I have been affected eversince... I am afraid of losing my loved ones... And I don't want to lose anyone... Not a single person that I know... And I don't want me to die either.... I want everyone to live...... Live forever in good health.....

Fashion Technology : 24x7

I wanted Fashion Technology and now I have 24x7 of it.... Did I want this much??? From Monday to Friday, we have the usual class... That reminds me, I had to take a seminar on Tuesday. It was a seminar on the Traditional Textiles of India, and I was taking Tripura. Luckily, Tripura didnt have any textile of its own, so it was like a 5 minute seminar with only 16 slides!! But the previous one about Nagaland, which had a lot of material to be taught and that too by a know-it-all of the class, was really boring and I remember yawning just before my seminar!! The seminar went fine except for the fact that I had given random animations for the bullets, and some of them were real slow ones!! Two or three times, they 'crawled' in real slow, and everyone started giggling, including the teacher!!!! :D The next tough task was to pronounce the names of the tribes of Tripura, without making it sound funny! The names were Khakloo, Kuki and Lushei :( Anyways, I am glad that it got over! On Saturdays, we have the Fashion Art classes. The miss who had been taking Fashion Art for us left the college, and since no-one has replaced her till now, Fashion Art is being taught every Saturday by a sir called Mohamed Ansar (or Ansar Mohamed??) He was a classmate of one of our teachers, when they were in NIFT (that makes him around 30 years old!!). We call that class as 'Ansar ki paathshala'!!! :P Both the second years and the first years are taught on the same day... Ansar Sir is from Trivandrum, working in Technopark.. He will be there in train with us most times! Sundays, the only day that we used to get free, is finally taken for the Photography classes.. Its an extra module taken for our own benefit.. It will be of use when we go for our craft documentation (CD). We are woking in groups, the same ones that we are planning to do the CD with. Each group is required to have an SLR camera and a tripod. Anyways, like I said before, I wanted Fashion Technology so badly and now I am 5'1" deep in it...!!! Did I want it this much???? Guess I did...!! ;)

What age do u act?

You Are 20 Years Old

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

Phew!!! I shouldn't say that I wasn't worried about the results... Rather, I wonder how this happened!!!! :P

Happy Birthday to my blog!!

Its been 1 year since I started blogging... I knew that I had started in April, but I never thought I'd be checking that on the very same day!!!! I am glad that something like this came along... Coz I was out of material, and my friends have already started nagging me to blog..!! :P Today was a very tiring day.... My friend Arya called me up the other day to ask whether I'd go along with her to my previous engg college, to invite them for a techfest that her college is hosting... I had plans to visit Marian anyway, so I agreed... Besides Marian, we had to go to UCE, GEC, MBT and SCT... My good God!! There r over 13 engg colleges in Trivandrum, and the max we can cover in one day were these 5.. Each college was located too much away from the other one in different directions... After Marian itself, we decided that one should be cut from the list.. And that one would either be GEC or MBT.. Since I was hoping to meet a friend of mine, Rajesh, at GEC, we decided that it should be MBT... Then we went to UCE.. Arya's cousin was a lecturer in Computer Science Dept at UCE, so we asked one of the students to show us the way to get there.. I think these people didnt even know that a CS dept existed in their college until we asked about it.... Anyways, I was only too happy to leave that college.. Bless the students!! On our way out, I discovered that I had left my bottle of Aquafina in the internet lab... Bless me too! Now we needed to get to SCT college... We striked out GEC from the list too, due to lack of time.. All instituitions were working only half-day coz of Aaraat and since SCT was one college from were participants could be expected, we decided to go there at once.... After a terrible bus journey, we reached SCT and stood near the gate, puzzled, wondering where the college really is.. I rang up a friend of mine and asked him to come to the gate... I knew him through the net only, and was about to see him for the first time! He recognized me anyway, and led us to the Principal's office... Arya went in and talked to him.. I saw three engg colleges in the city, and none of them seemed to have a good infrastructure.... SCT was better than Marian owing to the fact that the campus had a lot of trees!! Marian looks like a coconut plantation from every angle.... And from the main entrance, it looks like the desert map in Age of Empires... By the way, there was a fire in the forest in front of the UCE campus... And seeing the heavy smoke, we asked the students what it was.. They said, "Forest fire" and continued their work.... hmm... Engineering students.. What more could I expect? :P

Chal chaiyya chaiyya...

Finally, exams got over.. Not that I was tensed about it or anything, but I really hated travelling to my college, thats a 3 hours journey by train from Trivandrum, continously for three days. I have to get up at 4 am, get ready and leave by the 5 am train. Then after the exam, we gotta catch the Bangalore - Kanyakumari or the New Delhi - Kerala Express.. And whether there r seats or not, both of us prefer to sit on the doorway only!!! :P When I was a kiddo, well a smaller kiddo, :P I used to be very excited about travelling by train. But now the mere thought of a train makes me wanna puke!! Yesterday I came back by the Bangalore - Kanyakumari express. It was the first time in this week that we were going back by this train due to its timing... I still remember the last time we went back by this train.. It was a nightmare.... The ladies compartment in this train is only the size of a matchbox, therefore the comfort of travelling in it is imaginable. And to add to that, the fishmongers (err.. the meenkarikal!!! :D) from Kollam will get in with their fish, adding a wonderful odour to the pleasant atmosphere.. yuckkkkkk.. First of all, I hate fish.. And they cannot keep their d*** mouth shut for a minute without insulting each other in their meenkari slang! Yesterday was a hot and horrid day, just like the day before, and the one before that, and the ones to come :(( And we hadn't had a sip of water from 8 am till we reached Kollam (maybe around 2 o clock) So we bought 2 bottles of water from Kollam station, the only place where it stopped near a stall. After helping ourselves from the bottle, I held one in my hand, And Shalin had the other one.. Just then, one of these fishmongers opened the lid of her huge err.. vessel/pot whatever and arranged all her fishes, as I understood, parallel to each other!! :D Then she asked me for the bottle of water that I had in my hand. I gave it. She seemed thirsty, and drank a lot of water from it.. I didn't have a problem with that, until she held it out back to me.. A minute ago, she was digging through her fish with her hands.. I scratched Shalin's hand.. She asked her to keep it showing her that she had another bottle and grinned at me! When we reached the Trivandrum Central, we heaved a sigh of relief.. Usually we wait for everyone to get down, so that we can get ourselves out of the train peacefully avoiding the rush... Yesterday too, we were standing near the door on the opposite side waiting for everyone to get out.. Just then we noticed that people were waiting outside the door to get in as well. I was wondering how senseless these people were :P and just then remembered that we were on the B'lore - Kanyakumari express unlike usual!!!!! We took our things from the overhead rack and jumped out of the train out of horror!!! :D

March begins.....

March dawned... But never thought it would have dawned like it did.... Coz the first info that I got when I reached college on March 1st was that first sem exams were starting on 14th of this month!! Not to say that I haven't studied a word, but I don't even have the text books!!! :P Shalin has them luckily... And from this week onwards, we plan to start studying.... Textile Science and Fashion Business are the two theory papers.. Only two, but really tough..... And who knows, its MG University after all.. So the exams might get postponed too... Anyways.. Not too happy about all these... :(

What a Valentine's Day!!!!

Blue – Free Green – Waiting Orange – Processing proposal Pink – Accepted proposal Black – Rejecting proposal White – Already coupled Yellow – Broke up Gray – Not interested Red – Leave me alone!!!

I wore a salwar that had off-white, orange and green colors... It does NOT resemble the National Flag in any way, so save the crap that u were gonna stab me with!!!! :P Anyways, my dress meant Already coupled, Processing proposal and Waiting..... Taking into account that almost 75% of it was off-white, let me come to the conclusion that allthough unknowingly, I was rightly dressed!!!!! :D Let me think about the confusions that I went through on Valentine's Day once again.. It makes me wanna drink lots and lots of water!!! :P On Monday, luckily I didnt go to class... 'Luckily' because, in the morning I found that my number was barred for some reason.. They asked me to dial 800 and when I did, I learned that my id proof had not yet been submitted in the BPL office. I got this number 8 days before, and I was pretty sure that the id proof had been given to the dealer. In the evening, Srijith asked me to go to the BPL office rightaway and submit it directly. Well it was easy for him to say.. :-w I couldn't go out alone as the time was almost 15 minutes past 6 pm.. I surely needed to wake up my brother who had been sleeping becoz of a headache.. I woke him up somehow, and got dressed and came downstairs in 15 min, just to find him playing NFS... !@#$% I couldn't possibly get angry at him for he was my only chance... Anyways, by 7 o' clock we were on our way to the office at Vazhuthacaud, atleast 10 or 15 min drive from my home. We got there, but the office was almost empty and the shutter was half closed.. The guard let us in, and he said that nothing could be done on that day, as it was past the closing time.. But anyway, we were told to submit the id proof, and wait until the next day for the connection to get re-established... Which meant no messaging on that day :(( On 13th night, at around 11:50pm, I called Srijith from my landline!! :P A phone that I thought I'd never use again...... It was my last resort and I had to use it.... Anyways, I could wish him a Happy Valentine's Day.... It took a day more to get my connection allright.. And I could use the phone from 15th evening onwards... Its very difficult to stop using a mobile phone once u get to know the pleasures of having it... And I had to make all my calls from the booth that we have in our college..... :(( Its pulse is set very high and money just ran out of my pockets during those two days..... :(( Well... I just hope that everybody else had a great Valentine's Day.... I know that Jian didnt have a very nice one, considering the fact that he was watching a murder trial in a court in Cochin on that day and in a Chandler style, could it BE anymore better!!!! Q) Why is Children's Day celebrated on November 14th? A) Becoz it comes 9 months after Valentine's Day....!! :D

My Friend's Wedding!!

Yep!!! My classmate got married yesterday!! :P Thats something new for me!!! There is already a student who is married in my class... She is 22 years old, married and has a kid who is studying in LKG. But this girl is just 18 years old, with a mind thats just about 12 or 13... Anyways, she had no other option, her sister's marriage was last month I guess.. Her father's not too well and the least he can do is to secure his daughters' future before time runs out... All of us from the class went for her marriage.. It was taking place at Kottayam. So first, we decided to go to her house.. When the 28 of us gathered in her house, I donno, it was one of the best times of this year so far...!! The noise we made could be heard from the street itself!! "Anjaliiii... where is the Eye Liner?" "Did anyone see my slippers?" " Who is taking so long in the dressing room? Get out now!!!" "Can anyone give me a clip?" "Is my hair alright?" "I need brown Lip Gloss!!!!" WOW!! It was all truly maddening!! In the end, when everyone was ready, there was a photo session with Sumi(she's the one!) After that, we were taken to the auditorium. And the best part of the day took place after the wedding! Bipin(he's the other one!!!) and Sumi came to us and started talking with us. He said that all of his friends are there just for vayinokkifying (err... bird watching!! :P), but no offence meant!!! They had come there only because they were informed that Sumi's classmates were coming!!!! :P Then there was total confusion all over.. "I want that Black shirt one" "Blue's mine!!" "You can take the red shirt!!! (obviously, he'll be a trajedy! not to be mistaken for generosity!!!!)" "Black shirt is looking at me!" "You??? Yeah, dream on!!!!!!!" Anyways, the marriage was simply wonderful for a lot of reasons!!! :P And I wish Sumi and Bipin a very happy married life!

Well..

28 days since my last post.. I want to update, but I donno what to blog about.. Anyways, today I saw Rang De Basanti. A film that I've been waiting for just for two reasons.. 1) Aamir Khan 2) A R Rahman.... in alphabetical order, no priorities.... But to tell the truth, it didnt invoke any sort of anything in me.. Can't say that I didn't like it.. It was an okay sort of film... But I enjoyed "Iqbal" much better! I better be careful when I pass this sort of a comment about the film!! But coming to think about it, the way the film was taken was wonderful.. And it sure is a touching story.. very credible too, like most Aamir Khan movies... By the way, I lost my beloved airtel mtv simcard. I'll have to buy a new sim most probably.. The best thing is that all my friends r confused when I send them msgs..!!! I forget everytime to keep my name at the end! When I send msgs that I'll go to their house at a particular time, they'll be eagerly waiting at the door to meet the mysterious stranger!!!! Oh and by the way, I forgot to mention an important thing... I tried riding my bro's bike on.. err.. I think 26th evening.. I don't remember exactly.. Anyways, the feel was great!! A bike is certainly supercool than a scooter.. The power.. I could feel it, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey... At first, I got scared as I released the clutch.. So I rode with the sidestand down, but with practice, I was able to keep it steady and smooth.. I started on a pulsar, and i feel strangely proud about it!!!! :P

Happy New Year!!

hmm... just about 50 minutes left before its January 2nd. I definitely need to blog on this day, being a brand new day of a brand new year!! 31st December was an average day, but a wonderful night!!! Srijith and I had planned to meet on that day, but unfortunately, we couldn't. Till 2:30pm, I was looking forward for seeing him, but then when I got myself busy with the task of making clothes for my rag doll, I must be honest, I was hoping that I wouldn't be distracted from my work!!! :D No offence, dear!! The rag doll was coming out fine.. I made a gingerbread-man figure with my brother's new vest :P He couldn't use it anyway becoz when he washed the brand new vest, it changed to an interesting shape of something thats yet to be found and named.. For two days, I went searching for fibrefill or synthetic cotton or simply stuffing material (anything thats soft and spongy.. more damaged vests, bro? :D) But that too, I got from my house only!! This IS a *rag* doll, coming to think about it!! I rippped open an old mattress and took some soft stuff (cotton?) from it and stuffed it into the doll! Now all that it was missing was clothes!!! For the first time in my life, I was stitching shirt and pants!! It was difficult that I thought it would be!! By 7pm, the pants were complete and the shirt was almost done. At 8, there was a party at my neighbour's house. We have it every year, and last time we hosted it. There were 5 houses in all, and all of us were gathered in one of them. Some people were missing, still it was fun. Being the only girl there, I should say.. it has its advantages!! :P Before midnight, Srijith called me for a mobile conference! Around 7 or 8 or more friends of his were there and all of them started wishing New Year and there was utter confusion as to who was whom.. I hung up the phone in the year 2005 itself!! When midnight struck, we all wished a great new year to each other and stayed there until the countdown was over. After Surya TV's countdown, there was Asianet's countdown! Anyways, after a great party, we all returned homewards... Happy New Year!! January 1st, 2006 First of all, I have to practice writing 2006 at the end when I'm writing the date!! :P Today is my rag doll's b'day! Fixed some hair on to his head, giving a spiked look!!! Named him Neo, the New Year Baby!!! :P Today, Srijith and I planned a lunch together, but becoz of some technical reasons :P we had to change the time to 4pm. We met at Coffee Beanz and my senior Jennifer froom school was also there with her friend. Naturally, she didn't know me, but I don't know her either. She's my friend's friend.. She went for the VJ hunt at SS music, but she couldn't get through to the finals. SS music's loss!!! As for what I know, she's a supercool person to be with.. I had no intention to talk to her, but she kept on staring at me, and I too stared back making sure that this was Jenny. To end this awkward staring business, I talked to her asking whether she was Jenny who studied in Holy Angels. She said yes, and I told her that I was her junior. Whew! That crap's over..!!! Both of us got back to the person whom we were with!!! The empty coffee beanz started filling gradually, and two people showed up in there to our great surprise (and their too)!! Finally they sat down just beside our table! Who were they? hehe!! It was Nisha Chechi and Naren Chettan!!

Me too...

Got tagged... yawn.. me too....!! Not just by Sreeram, but by Srijith too! Both of them had tagged me a long time back, but I didn't post until this time for particularly no reason! :P Seven things I plan to do before I die 1. Convince him that there's no other place better on earth than by my side.. [whew.. that was good!] 2. Release my own line of clothes.. 3. Open a boutique, preferrably in France!!!! [yeah, dream on..!!!] 4. Make a lot of money and donate a lot of it to orphanages, without revealing the donor's(thats my) identity... [it was a dream of mine, right from childhood] 5. Learn to read, write and speak German, French, Arabic and Italian [thats nirvana for me!!!] 6. Meet all my net friends!! 7. Fill in this space some day.. hopefully... Seven Things I can do 1. I can sit alone for a long time 2. I can spend any amount of time with him 3. I can be pretty creative! :P 4. I can jabber on for a long long time [without boring u, of course!!! :P] 5. I can talk you out of smoking! :D [3 victims!!!] 6. I can forget and forgive very easily 7. I can get into trouble very easily too.... Seven Things I can’t do 1. I can’t live without him 2. I can’t avoid selective hearing 3. I can’t sleep in train 4. I can’t keep my room clean for more than 3 days 5. I can’t sing well, neither can i smoke..!! :D 6. I can’t live without my mobile and charger [and money to recharge it, of course!!!] 7. I can’t afford to make grammatical errors!! [but typos are a different thing!!! ;)] Seven Things that attract me to the opposite sex 1. Guys with a good sense of dressing [includes colors, accessories, perfumes/deos etc.. ;)] 2. A healthy attitude 3. Good conversation skills 4. A good, frank and open mind 5. Good sense of humor 6. Beauty 7. An honest, hearty and wide smile Seven Things I say most 1. Korangan/Korangi ['Male/Female monkey'] 2. Koora ['Terrible' - i think so!] 3. Pinneyyyyyyyyy!! ['Ohhhh Yeah!!!' - sarcastically :P] 4. Jandu... ['Animal'/'Creature'] 5. Iyyo! ['Sound of agony!!!'] 6. Koppe ['Crap!'] 7. Eeshwara!! ['God'/'Gawd'] Seven Celebrity Crushes 1. Antonio Banderas 2. John Abraham 3. Will Smith 4. Abhijeet Sawant 5. Paul Walker 6. Pierce Brosnan 7. Mel Gibson 7 people I intend to tag 1. Ajith 2. Sanish 3. Kris [Poor soul.. U too!!] 4. Narendran [U were asking for a treat, well here it is!!! :P] 5. donno... 6. donno... 7. donno...

Blog...

Long time since I wasted some of my energy in here... December is almost over, and after using the "backspace" and "del" key for rather unusually long, I've shockingly realized that my typing speed and accuracy have gone down... Yes, I haven't spend much time in the net since my last post. I haven't been very busy, but its just becoz of this crappy and erratic net connection. Anyways, feels good to be back on track... December was a period of mixed emotions.. The first week of December went really good, with some outing in C'cherry town!! It was fun, except for that rotten luck of having gone out on a hot, sunny Saturday afternoon without an umbrella.. I was thankful for the first time to Lakme company for their sunscreen lotion!! Anyways, that hot, horrid town is better than that wretched hostel of mine... On 9th, I went back home for the weekend. Neither Shalin nor I had the patience to stay there that weekend too!! 11th was a fine Sunday in the morning. But by afternoon, things began to take a different turn. Minu called me from hostel. I thought that she wanted me to take something for her from her home. No.. She told me that her classmate and my senior and friend Jugnu's brothers had met with an accident on the way to Bangalore. Reghuram, the younger brother had died in the accident, and the elder brother Sriram was admitted at the hospital. For a minute, I lost my voice; it was like I had a lump in my throat.. I had to inform Shalin as well, and I didn't know how to do that... God....... The next day, Shalin and I went to their house at Kottayam. [Don't wanna say anything more about it here...] May Reghu's soul rest in peace.... Lets fast forward two boring weeks.. What did I do during these two weeks?? Submission >> coming home >> bro meets srijith >> shopping >> back to college >> buy gift for c.f (christmas friend) at hostel and college >> gave gift to c.f at hostel >> same at college >> submission >> pack things >> back home for hols Thats it!! I blogged....!!! And honestly, I think its because of this crappy keyboard that I can't type properly...

November 14th

Everybody's been asking me why I haven't posted anything new in here.. Well.. First of all, nothing is happening..... Secondly, I haven't promised anywhere that I'll update my blog in a certain amount of time...!! Thirdly, .................................................................... ..................................................................... hmm... I can't think of anything to fill in here... Anyways, today is Children's Day... ahem.. and that DOESN'T have anything to do with me...... The next person who calls me up to wish a Happy Children's Day - beware, u'll go straight to hell..... By the way, its also the Wedding Anniversary of my Mom and Dad. Wow!! 25th year of their married life!! Whats that? Silver Jubilee? Think so..... Congrats Mom and Dad!!! Oh!! And as a confession.... Speaking of hell DID NOT remind me of ur Wedding Anniversary!! It was just a coincidence!!!!! :D

The Announcement!!!

November 1, 2005... That was one of the best days in a few people's life...!! It was the b'day of my orkut buddy, Naren, who wouldn't be just an orkut buddy, but a relative too, in a few year's time!!! :P Nisha chechi had already planned a great b'day bash as a big surprise for him.. And I was invited too... So on November 1st morning, by 11 o clock, my brother dropped me in front of Ambrosia.. Balu and Anoop were already there. So I walked upto them and said a hi to Balu and started talking.. Anoop had no idea who I was, but to my surprise, Balu recognized me rightaway!! A bit later, Srijith and Dhanya joined us, followed by Srijith's sister and brother in law and then another orkutian named Manesh. So all of us were assembled in front of Ambrosia, and Nisha Chechi was giving further instructions through sms!! The surprise had neatly worked out!!! Naren was beaming(which was fortunately captured with all its might in my handy cam!! :P) like anything when we all walked in!!!! He blew the candles, cut the cake and everybody in there sang for him, and clapped too.. (It is said that everybody who claps for us should be given a piece of cake too, but whatever!!!) A little later when we all settled in, another guy walked in, whom I heard about a lot while we were standing outside, coz everybody was on the lookout for a guy with a pierced ear, and who had two or three rings on it too!! Anyways, he too had come.. (His name is Shiv and he's there in orkut too.. whew!!) Anoop's friend joined us too a lot later.. The party went on really well.. Except for that yucky glass of "Mayfair" that I had bought... Why do I always end up with things like these? :-w It was a mixture of Mango pulp and Strawberry essence or something.. I don't really remember the ingredients, though I won't ever forget the taste!! The party was finally over. We all wished again, said bye and left, leaving those two to themselves.. Srijith and I talked for sometime standing outside, where the weighing machine grabbed some attention too...!!! And after Srijith, Shiv and Anoop were all disppointed, we resumed talking!!! A little later, we decided to leave, and I had fixed one thing in my mind, which if I was lucky would turn out fine.... I reached home, took out the cam and rewinded the whole party video.. I showed it to my brother, and pointed everybody out to him. And after giving a vivid account of all the fun that had happened there, I began to break out the grand news to him.. But i couldn't.. When I am about to say it, I'd start laughing and would make it a mess... This went on for two or three failed attempts.. And then I stopped trying.. I somehow got a hint that I couldn't do it.... So I just forgot the whole thing and went back to my work.. I had a submission to work on, after all... But by evening, things got better.. I ran out of embroidery thread, so I accompanied my bro when he went out to buy some things.. As we were heading back home, my bro asked whether I would like to go to our cousin's flat and pay them a visit. Being Deepavali, I thought that it might be a good idea.. And I badly needed to talk to him, preferrably without having to look at his face!!! :P So now, we were taking a different route. And I made a desperate last attempt.. I told him about Srijith.... The reaction that I expected was a sudden brake!! But to my surprise(or horror?) he was relaxed and calm, as though he saw this coming.. He might have.. After all, he guessed the name correct, didn't he...! So thats it! My head is now relieved of that big load I've been carrying from that afternoon onwards!!!! And now, I can live in peace once again.... Praise the Lord!!!!

A few words I'd like to quote....

While I was reading an article, I found some facts to be quite interesting and also, a bit controversial..!! Here they are... Love is the ultimate danger ground for men. Once a man is in love, he can just kiss rest of the world goodbye! Though frankly speaking, love is very overrated. A man's greatest strength is his initial attraction to women. His greatest weakness is his unfailing ability to get distracted within a short period of time. Men definitely need to work on that!! - Kelly Dorji

Disasters...

I never expected this day to end so ruthlessly.... I had a pretty good time till 7 'o clock in the night.. I was at Maria's house at that time... Good ol' pals meeting and talking heart to heart after a long time... Maria had to attend her uncle's wedding anniversary party at around 8, so I thought of leaving in a few minutes. So I called my bro to come and pick me, as I had to go to Spencer's as well, to buy some things that I needed at my hostel. He said that he'll come and pick me in an hour, as he needed to go elsewhere for some reason. Then he broke that horrible news to me....... It was about the death of my 10 year old second cousin, Sandeep, who got drowned in a river near his house... I stood there dumbstruck.... This news was so unbelievable.. Just a week before, he had been running around everywhere with the other kiddos when the death rites of my grandmother's brother was being performed... Of course, death doesn't mean anything else than family get-together for kids... Everybody had turned up when such an important person in the family had died at an age and situation unfit for any normal human being... He was not even 65 I think... But his death news wasn't that surprising, coz he had been undergoing dialysis twice a week and sustained his life with the help of medicines.. In fact, he had already written down his instructions that were to be followed after his death.. But this is a different matter... Who saw this coming? Why did it have to happen? And I cannot imagine his parents' grief... My goodness.... Each time I think about it, my heart breaks.... How will they feel everytime his absence is felt? How will they feel everytime they see his clothes and his things? Tears are coming to my eyes now... I am praying to God to give his parents and his small brother the strength and courage to accept this reality... Sandeep, my little brother... May your soul rest in peace....

Back to normal..

Everything's back to normal.. except my tastebuds... :(( I learned a valuable lesson today... Black current and Strawberry flavors don't go with each other... And in fact, its one of the yuckiest ice cream flavors ever made.... :D Some kind of emptiness had been enveloping me for the past two days, and now, everything's back to normal.... Its strange how a simple thing, something that should have been let gone with a laugh, can be made huge so as to interfere our peace of mind itself.... Well, I think that incident reflects the flaws of my character.. I am too sensitive, I have a terrible ego, I can't accept my mistakes coz I believe that I cannot make mistakes, and when someone or something points out one that I made, I sulk, and make it a big deal.... But in the end, I am ready to let it go.. Thanks to my forgetfulness!!! Anyways, I've already started working on all my negative traits.. Hope to get rid of it, tough as it is...

DOA?

Nope! I am not dead.... yet! :D I am very much alive.....! But like I used to, I cannot spend time on net to connect to my online friends anymore... Lets say, workload? Yeah.. think so.... Projects, Assignments, Seminars and Presentations.. and also, the fashion show thats about to be conducted in November.. and, some personal reasons too.... Anyways, I am not enjoying life so much right now.. We have somehow become rebels in the hostel.. I cannot understand the reason why the BFT guys r so discriminated by the others.. And why the hell are they calling us "Fashion People"? Why can't they use "BFT" instead of "Fashion"? We don't call the Food Microbiology guys as "Food People" or the BCA guys as "Computer People".. If somebody breaks one of the rules in the hostel, the warden asks them whether they developed this sort of behavior after being inspired by the "Fashion People".... Whats that about???? We havent broken any of their f***** rules till now, I swear... But after that, we have started doing so. After all, why should we be blamed for something that we haven't done? We have lots of work to do at the department and sometimes will not be able to come back to the hostel before 7.. But the warden brought a new rule that we should get back before 4:30.. !@#$ To hell with their rules.. We saw to it that we reached back only by 6 or 6:30pm for a week.. And afterwards, the time limit has been increased to 6:15... And the next rule.... No matter how late u sleep, u should get up at the 5am wake-up bell.. While we had an assignment for Surface Ornamentation, we were doing it all night, and finished it after the 5am bell had rung.. Which means.... I don't know.. What does it mean? And problem no. 3, the BFT students hafta go out for various reasons, like, the college store doesnt provide all the stuff that is necessary for us. So we have to get it from a store called "Thread Centre" in C'cherry town. Thats the ultimate store for getting everything, absolutely everything thats necessary for our course.. They are the official suppliers as well, of all our Fashion Art Books, and Still Life Drawing Books.. These r really long and big books for drawing and sketching purposes.. We hafta visit this place atleast once in a week to replenish our resources. We take permission from the warden and go out, and obviously, she'll not be too happy about it.. But it is because of this that we all know that our Warden possesses excellent creativity and imagination. After the common prayer at night, she'll give a vivid account of our rendezvous with the guys of SB college, a neighboring co-ed college. Sigh... Had she started writing a little before, who knows! She could have been a renowned author(ess) by now.....@!#$% For all these reasons, the hostel is becoming rather hostile to all the students of BFT.. And some of them are planning to vacate the hostel next year. I too wanna do it, but lemme see, if 4 or 5 students are willing then I might move out too.. But its the matter of security that is giving me second thoughts about it... C'cherry is a horrible town after 7pm.. Girls living alone would certainly not be safe.. Either we should ask our HOD, Mridul Ma'm to come and live with us, like the passed out seniors did! Or we should hire somebody who can be trusted and also who can protect us.. But who?? Some of us thought about it and finally came up with the perfect ad!!!! WANTED : A middle aged woman, should cook and clean for 5, preferrably a widow and children married and settled abroad(so that her chances of going and visiting them r almost zero!!!), should value our safety above everything, should take extremely good care of us, and most importantly, should be able to stand up to anyone who dares to break in into our home(female version of Hitler, to be exact!!!)...... Thats it... Anybody interested? ;)

Holidays at last!!

Goodness!! I can't believe that the d**n two weeks finally got over.. whew! It took so long to reach the 9th of September! But I am thankful that I stayed there for the first saturday and sunday, becoz thats how i got to make a good and lasting relation with my friend Shalin, and my two seniors Jugnu and Arya.. They r so cool, and behaved more like good friends than like seniors..! We had a wonderful time together, becoz everybody had gone home and we were allowed to sleep in the seniors' room.. So for three days, Shalin and I were in their room (which couldn't be anymore messy by the way!! :P) With these three days, we became one hell of a company!! And our main job included talking till late hours munching pizza!! :D Anyways, after a long wait, 9th september finally arrived.... And from the previous night itself, I was totally excited about going home!! Shalin and I decided to leave by the 12:30pm train provided we jump out of the college after the 2nd hour.. It was easy becoz the other departments were having their exams and the 3rd hour was English, which was off as the exam was already over... We were ready to break out.. But the first hour was Textile Science and Anu Miss, our Textile Science teacher, had put a small test and afterwards took class too.. By the end of the 2nd hour, when i was at the peak of frustration, she told the class (class??? u call 11 unlucky students a class???? The other 18 lucky ones had already left home..) not to leave as she was gonna take some class on GC in the afternoon till 3pm.. WHAT THE?????? I was dumbfounded by that.. So was Shalin.. After a long and sick 30 min, we were brought back to calmness.. There was a train at 3pm (Sabari or something..) We decided to go by that one.. Both of us didnt wanna have lunch, I went to my hostel room... A heap of my things(suitcases, rolled up bed, books..etc) were arranged neatly(?) on my bed.. So I sat down on a chair, all sad and resented.. I refused to attend the afternoon class.. Shalin and Anju came and picked up the stuff for the afternoon class.. I made them go without me... But after sometime, I went for class as well to see what was going on... As I had expected, Miss had not come.. It was Surface Ornamentation hour, and Miss had gone to the University and had not yet returned.. It was almost 2:15pm.. I hurried out of the class in search of Shalin.. She was coming into the class and we both said to each other, "Da.. lets go" and sighed in relief.. We went back to the hostel, got ready, took our bags and hurried out silently without disturbing the warden ;) Thats the end of the story... But there will be a new beginning once we get back to the college.. gulp.. I know that the warden will be "overjoyed" to see us back!! :D But the teacher.. what if she still remembers our "great" escapade..!! That would be fun! ;)

My dreams came true becoz of u....

The best moment in my life till now..... The experience was inexplicable... My hands were trembling for almost half an hour..... First I thought that it was a dream... but then I realized that it was a dream coming true......

Something from my heart..

A lot of people have been seeing me very lightly lately.. Why is that so? I feel sick and sad inside, though I don't show it out to them.. Eversince I joined for FT, the chances of acquainting with them have lessened. But I feel like that I'm more available to everybody than I used to be, because I feel some sort of a.. a.. something.. neglect? nope.. disregard? i donno.. might be.. I'm in a terrible state of mind, maybe its something stupid that I'm just imagining.. Maybe their circumstances are to be blamed for this. But coming to think about it, I have been taken very lightly all the time by two or three people, who are so important to me. I just couldn't afford them to do this to me. I even tried telling it out to one of them. But then, it was either laughed off like a joke(not by me), or the other person would sulk and I'd say that I was just kidding, and then laugh it off like a joke. The little time that I get to connect to them is too precious to be wasted talking about things like this. I know that I'll get hurt in the end, but then again.. Who cares?

A thought to think about..!

Is it love that evokes beauty or is it beauty that evokes love? I have been thinking about this for weeks and weeks now. And I just can't come to any conclusion. It can happen in both ways. In case of a "love at first sight", its beauty that evokes love. And in some other circumstances, its love that evokes beauty. Which is stronger? Which will last longer? And which is successful? Life is strange..!

What type of Killer are You?

You kill for
revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes

What Type of Killer Are You?
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Snowy Girl...

Parayathe ariyathe nee poyathalle.. Maruvaaku mindanjathalle.. Oru nokku kaanathe nee poyathalle... Doorekku nee maanjathalle.. Sakhiye nee kaanunnuvo.. En mizhikal nirayum nombaram... Innumorkkunnuvo veendumorkkunnuvo.. Annu naam thangalil piriyum raave.. She got for LLB and she's going.. nope she already went.. Snowy Girl means Manju Poloru Penkutty in Malayalam. Yeah she is like that for many reasons... Her name is Manju, actually its Manjula.. She likes being called Manju.. She's snowy white (she can be easily mistaken for a foreigner or a ghost, esp at night!!) she's very soft in character, and she's very very tiny.. i think only a layer of skin runs on top of her skeleton, and she's my first ever roomie too. I never thought that she'd go if she got for LLB. But FT was too much a headache for her. She couldn't draw, she couldn't paint, there was nothing that she could do.. so it was pointless for her to stay.. still.... If I think properly, sometimes we used to get irritated by her, she whined all the time for some reason, always tensed about something, and will spoil the spirit most times by bringing in some sad stuff.. But I am sure that I'm gonna miss her.. Her bed will be empty.. err.. no.. our stuff will be on top of it! but thats not what i mean.. leave it.. everything changes.. She got 138th rank in LLB, let her find her true calling too... I found mine.. its not fair on my part to feel bad.. atleast she didnt lose an year.. I dedicate the above song to her, and may she have a wonderful and successful future

The week that was!!

After having taken a long leave from 4th of July to 8th due to a nasty cough, cold and fever, I felt kind of relieved to get back to the college. Nothing was taught, to my luck. But I did miss all the fun which had happened there, and I couldn't wait to catch up with everything! :P On Sunday evening, the harthal on Monday was postponed to some other day and Shalin called me and asked whether I really wanted to go on Monday itself. I did not know why she wasn't really looking forward to go, but then she told why.. They were given a work the previous week, which was to draw 100 pictures, 60 black and white and 40 color, and shade them accordingly too.. It was the first work given after teaching shading and light effects.. It was to be done on a particular book, and I had not brought that book, so me no worry! :P But Shalin had to, and she asked me to stay for one more day. She buttered up my bro, and he buttered up mom, and in the end, I was allowed to stay. That one day was utilized to buy a few stuff like gateway paper, and some other stationary. Next day early in the morning, I woke up, got dressed and went to the railway station to catch the early morning train. Shalin was already in the train. After a boring train journey which consisted of flashing lakes and bushes, we reached C'cherry by 8:15am. I wanted to call a friend, whom I was not able to inform about my departure.. But we got an autorickshaw from the other side of the station, so we both rushed through the heavy undergrowth to the other side, got in the auto and went to the hostel. When we reached there, we saw Anju, who had come just now too! She too hadn't finished the homework :P and the three of us walked into the hostel. We saw the warden, and instead of a sudden bolt of thunder and lightning that we had expected, she asked us whether our fever had gone, whether we had breakfast, and if not, then we could go to the mess. Mess time was over by now, still we went in and had steaming hot appam and stew. :P We went up after breakfast, and Anju's roomie, Chakshu (in my same class) came and told that new students had come the day before, from different department. Therefore my room was shifted to the PG line of rooms, the first one there. But an evil idea sprouted in Chakshu's mind! The new girls never saw us till now, so it was the best chance to give them a good scare! Some of these girls, as Chakshu said, were not the kind of people to have as neighbours. An air of arrogance surrounded them, according to the description that we got. So we decided to go and get introduced them pretending to be second years!! So Anju, Shalin and I went inside their rooms, never told them that we were 2nd years or 1st years either.. Our seriousness was easily mistaken for seniority!!! They stood up when we asked their name and place..! There were three (or two?) rooms in total. After scaring them all,(we just asked their name and place they come from, maybe in a serious tone, who asked them to get scared! ) we went back to our rooms. After a while we again went to their rooms and broke out the truth, and they all laughed their heart out!! I thought that we would get beat up for sure, but none of that happened to our luck!! :D On Wednesday, we had a common english class as the first hour. During that class, Anju, Shalin and I were sitting together somehow, and thats when the unthinkable happened.. Everyone was wasked to describe their first time hostel experience. Thats when to our surprise, Anita (one of our "ragging" victims!) stood up and narrated the happenings of the previous day!! She described the whole "ragging" part and we were asked to stand up for the teacher to see! The fact that the three of us were sitting together made the teacher think that we were a mischievous trio, and she asked us to sit in different corners from the next day onwards! That was jus a joke, she never meant it! She was laughing with the other students who were there, who were from different departments. Anyways, the three of us became quite famous after this incident!! That was a grand welcome for us to the first English class!! And the three of us became a lot more closer after this incident, and we are upto more mischief from that day onwards..!!

1st BFT...

1st BFT means First year, Bachelor of Fashion Technology. Its certainly different from what I studied for all these years, ahem.. 13 years.. the 13th year being engg.. We have six subjects in all.. English, Textile Science and Fashion Business were the theory papers. They're really boring subjects.. But Fashion Business is a bit more interesting, coz when we're bored, we can admire on the work of nature while its teaching us!! :P Miss S is teaching us FB. She's a north Indian, and it shows on her face very well.. If her eyes were a bit more smaller, she'd have been perfect, right now she's just a small unit away from perfection..! And its hard to say that she has a kid by her looks!! Then there's the other theory paper, Textile Science. The subject isn't that boring.. As the name suggests, its about various types of fabric, their uses, their composition and stuff.. But Miss A has a very low volume, and the strain we take to listen hard to grasp her words easily makes us tired and sleepy. The furnishing of the Textile Science class room is impressive! In the classroom, there's a projector, a TV, a DVD player, Speakers; and the chairs have panels fitted on to them for writing purposes, like they do have in seminar halls. It gives off an office vibe rather than that of a classroom. I'd have enjoyed it if the teacher had made the class a bit more interesting.. And the third theory paper, thats English is not yet started as the Miss is on leave. She's a friend of my dad's friend. That could be bad for me! :P Fashion Art, Surface Ornamentation and Garment Construction are the practical Papers. SO and GC includes stitching, therefore eventhough I like them, it can be problemmatic sometimes!! :P Fashion Art is my favorite among all.. It includes drawing and painting.. We have to learn to draw the perfect figure, which is not possible in real life.. Because these figures, Croqui, as they're called, may require a height of about 8 feet!! Long legs, longs hands, slender waist, even the head has a fixed measure! We have to analyze normal figures from magazines and change them to Croquis which includes a lot of steps. This was the first time that any of us were allowed to go through Vogue while in class!! Vogue is one of the best fashion magazines, one has to be really careful while going through it in public.. Its the best of FTV(and more!) printed on good quality paper!!! Till 11th, we are kinda free.. Thats when all the faculty returns.. And thats when the actual 1st BFT starts. Everybody is saying that the nearly sleepless nights we spend often is just a sample, its just the tip of the iceberg.. Totally sleepless nights (some in the college itself) awaits us... More than that, in the hostel, the other degree students are a bit annoyed (read : jealous) of BFT students, because of the extra freedom and benefits that we get. We can sit in the college till late hours; we can use the library till 8PM (yeah, big deal); we can have the lights on during the entire night, unlike the others who can have it only till 11:30 PM maximum during exam time and till 10:30 PM otherwise.. Anyways, these have ignited lights of jealousy in the others (seniors only), so juniors from BFT uplifts the seniors ragging interests. But its our duty to make them as irritated as we possibly can, right! We do it all the time!!!

My Hostel and College..

Wow! I've never been so happy in my life I think.. Allright.. Who am I kidding..! I've had better moments. But my first week at hostel and college is certainly one of them.. As I already said, there were 5 people in room number 24 and 3 people in room number 23, which is my room. All of us were BFT, which was lucky because the other hostels didnt have more than 4 people from BFT. The hostel rooms were set in 'T' shape.. The perpendicular line rising from the middle of the other was the line of rooms belonging to PG students.. And the other big stretch were our rooms (first years), and also the 2nd year BFT's (who are on project, and are not here right now). Out of some 7 or 8 rooms or more, only 2 were occupied by us.. And the other line was completely occupied by PG chechis... Anyways, one more BFT joined us, she was a friend of mine whom I met during the admission process. Her name is Sreelekshmi, and I easliy became friends with her and her elder sis on that day. She joined a day late, and I was wondering until this time in which hostel she was in. I never thought that she'd come to my hostel, and that too, in my room itself..!! It was sheer luck.. She was assigned J Hostel straight away.. So now we were 9.. which is my unluckiest number. But nothing unlucky happened to my relief! Hostel life became interesting day by day.. All of them are really nice people, and nothing like my friends from my previous engg college, no offence meant!! Its clear that people from other parts of Kerala are really better than people from Trivandrum!! Ahem.. I am an exception.. seriously!!! It was my second week at hostel, and by Wednesday I got a call from my bro to tell me that another girl whom he knows is coming to that college, for BFT, but he doesn't know in which hostel.. It couldn't have been mine, coz by now, we got a 5th roomie.. Her name is Jency, from Trivandrum, doing B.A Malayalam, and also two girls Anjali and Chindha in room number 22, who have taken Communicative English. We first years bonded very quickly, and all feelings of homesickness was easily removed from them! Well, the girl whom bro was referring to was Shalin, from Trivandrum, and a cousin of my bro's friend. I knew this friend, he was my bro's classmate in engg college, which means that he was my senior for a year. On Tuesday, we were talking with the warden, yeah, buttering her up to leave us on friday to our homes! :P She said that a new girl was coming to our room the next day, from my place. I got the hint and asked, "Shalin??" Yes!! It was Shalin herself.. Another shocking surprise for me, because though I knew that she was coming, never thought that she'd be my roomie. Jency was shifted to next room with Comm. English people.. Never made a difference, coz all the three rooms felt like home for us! :D The next day, we were getting ready for classes, and thats when Shalin moved in. Her mom talked to me for a long time, owing to our "connection". She's too a sweet girl. The day was over quickly because of the missing faculty members. They had to work during their supposed vacation time, so now one by one they r talking a big leave, but what to do, their timings clashed, and soon we were facultyless!! Yep.. for a whole week!! The day was spend talking and joking.. At night, Shalin said that she expected a really bad hostel and roomies, but this atmosphere just swept her off her feet! She felt relaxed very quickly... this was a compliment! And it was true to the core.. If I hadn't had felt relaxed myself, I'd never have studied here, whether its FT or not... I should consider myself really really lucky!

The Departure.. or is it The Arrival?

After a lot of confusions about how to go to C'cherry, I decided to go alone on 15th morning.. But later, mom interfered and arranged the private taxi (Qualis :P) and told my uncle and aunt to accompany me. In the morning, I went to their house and picked them up too.. The journey was time consuming, boring and hectic. These two people are certainly not nearly the type of people that I'd love to hang out with.. The whole journey, I had to hear lots and lots of apprecial of engg, and even more crushing down of fashion technology.. don't wanna recall it... puke.. So I reached C'cherry by around 12pm. The admission processes were over, I was given V Hostel in spite of having booked J Hostel. The rooms were a disaster in V. Oh my God, cobwebs hung about in huge sizes and i guess they were as old as the college is.. And the room was beside the main road, so anybody can guess where all the dust goes to.. If I hadn't had any roomies from FT there, I'd have screamed the hostel down. Anyways, after keeping my luggage there, I set out with aunt and uncle and cousin to take money from the ATM and to have food. After a late lunch, we went to buy a few things that I didnt get time to take; like towels, slippers, bed, pillow.. etc.. When we came back with the "stuff" we saw the other two (my supposed roomies) vacating the room. They said that they saw the Principal and got them shifted to J Hostel. My heart sank.. I thought I'd faint.. Immediately I set out with my aunt to see the Principal. The Princi said that the booking was done by J hostel without her knowledge and began asking us why we booked in that case. I told her that I never knew that they did the booking without her knowledge. Again she she said that the booking was done without her knowledge (I was thinking why the hell do I wanna know that) and asked why we booked in that case. It was like banging my head against a stone wall. Somebody has said once, never to argue with nuts, because people may not know the difference. So I stopped, and asked her to change my hostel. She said that she doesn't have an opinion(I adore her!) and I am free to do whatever I want. So I went to V and got all my stuff out from there. J Bhavan was entirely different from V Bhavan, on the outside as well as inside.. My supposed roomies helped me take up my things. We were on the topmost (3rd) floor, and carrying the heavy luggage up wasn't nearly fun.. I dragged my aunt away later from the chit chat that she was having with the other parents gathered in front of our room. Of course, it was about "The Mistake of 2005", i.e, me leaving engg, and joining for FT.. puke... It was goodbye time.. I walked with them till the gate and waved, and came back to my room. One of my roomies, Manju was there, unpacking her stuff. I asked her the name of the other girl, it was Sara, without an "h"! She had gone out with her parents to buy some stuff like I did two hours before. Anyways, I too started unpacking. Everything was over an hour later. The hostel room turned to our room. I picked up my bath stuff and had a nice bath in the cold water. I no longer felt tired, so I started talking to Manju. She was so nice and friendly. She too had never stayed away from her home. Sara came later, and we watched and helped her unpack her things and set up her bed. Soon after her bath, the mess bell rang, and we all went down to have dinner. The two rooms (that makes 5+3=8) were students from BFT. Our room had an extra space for two.. hopefully, two BFT students!! 10:30 was lights off time, but, after all the travelling, all of us were sleepy by 10 and was jus waiting for the bell to go. But when I slept, I was more excited about the new world that will be open to me tomorrow.. I longed for that more than I longed to get into bed... yawn.. sleepy..

What is ur Element?

Your element is Fire. Like fire, you have a hot
temper and you can be warm and loving as well
and angry and wild. It all really comes down to
what you are feeling. You have a lot of close
friends who you are very protective over, and
with your temper probably some enemies too. You
are not Miss Popular in school since you are
your own person and don't want to be forced
into behaving this or that way. You are the
untamed wild horse, the kind that everyone
wants to catch. But you don't want to be tied
down for the moment and just keep going with
your little crushes. Your will is strong and if
you set your mind to do something, you will
most likely succeed. But beware, your friends
may not always accept your mood-swinging
behaviour. Even if you don't mean to be mean,
they can still feel hurt. You just need to
start thinking some things through before you
do them, and not always jump in with so much
courage. One day you may be hurt because of
that, but then again, your element isn't fire
if you start to analyse situations before you
act. After all, your nature is to shoot first
and ask the questions later. Rate and message!

What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
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The Dream...

I wasn't awake. But I wasn't asleep either. I was trying to sleep.. but I couldn't get myself into a sound sleep.. I woke up every now and then, becoz something kept troubling me. Disturbing thoughts? Oh! that would have been much better than those scary, ear-breaking bolts of thunder and the blinding lightning.. I almost thought that this awful deafening noise was that of my house collapsing, unable to withstand anymore of the nature's rage.. Somehow the powercut too had a nasty effect on my hard-earned sleep, and I began seeing nightmares... First, I saw a snake slithering through my bedroom, and I woke up with a start! I took the torch and began shining it to every nook and corner of the room, err.. except, under the bed... Scary monsters dwelled there, and my bro was not at home that day, so he surely didn't check under it for me!! What rubbish! I didnt want to look under the bed for the fear of finding something unpleasant underneath.. So for almost an hour, I sat there with the torch (britelite!!) shining and held in my hand... I was becoming sleepy by the second and eventually, I couldn't hold on much longer.. So I told the snake(??) to go to hell and laid down once again, carefully tucking every inch of me inside the blanket, and with a slight doubt whether snakes can bite through cloth. But I was too sleepy to bother, and so it didn't take me much time to fall asleep again. It was time for the second dream.. I saw X.. what the? I saw X???? X was the last person I thought I'd dream of.. But anyways, X stood there.. and even my sub-conscious didn't care to think what X was doing.. I think X was jus standing there.. hmm.. I dunno... Anyways, X was there, in front of a hooded figure.. But wait a min, that hooded figure, was that ME? Yeah, it was.. I stood there, hooded and wearing a long coat-like-thing, watching X.. And suddenly, 72 muscles of mine started to contract, yeah, obviously, I was angry... I wanted to rip X's heart out, but this was a dream, and sub-conscious was in control, so I saw myself putting my hand into one pocket of my long coat and then pulling out a stick. As I pointed it to X, I realized that it was a wand!! I pointed it to X and mumbled, 'Avada Kedavra..' and then a green light filled the... the.. the place that we were standing, and seconds later, even before lifeless X dropped to the ground, I woke up again, saying to myself, 'Too much Harry Potter'... I prepared to sleep again, thinking for a fraction of a minute about the dream, and thats all that I can remember.. I slept again, don't know when, and don't know whether I dreamt again....

The Tragedy...

Why does this happen to me everytime? In TIME, I joined late, and lack of good friendship added to its hideousness. Fortunately and unfortunately, I was rescued from there three months later to join Marian Engg College. In Marian, I missed the first day due to admission procedures, and therefore, the next day, I was stared upon like a celebrity! I must say, I love attention, but these thirty blank faces were freaking out my senses the very first day.. And now history(??) is repeating. I may not be able to join Assumption College on 1st of June itself. I won't get my TC from Marian immediately, they are saying that I might have to pay the complete four years fees inorder to get it issued. My God! I wouldn't ever leave if I have to pay the whole amount. But the Dean is helping me out.. after all, its him that matters more than the Principal in a private college.. I hope that the management shows mercy on me. Anyway, I should say, the Principal's behaviour just astonished me.. I always thought of him as a nice person from the few encounters that I had, but now I thank God for letting me know his true cruel self. I feel pity for the students of Marian now, I really do, after having had a chance to watch the sickening and stinking bureaucracy that exists there. Earlier I think I made a comment about the college, but my disrespect for the college has reached a higher level after this chain of incidents. Its 28th and I was supposed to go today for a whole new venture.. but....

Pissed off really bad...

The dean is such a nice guy.. but yuck.. the principal.. what a man... I swear to God that I'm gonna kill him on the very next oppurtunity that I get...

Too weary to think of a title..

Its been a long time since I blogged.. But not to worry.. the only development that took place in these days is that I have finished reading "Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone" and, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". I have started on the fourth book, "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire" already.. Seems like I've become addicted to it or something.. Coz I can't keep the book down, unless I am feeling really really sleepy.. When he (my brother) told me that we should buy the entire collection, I thought it was a stupid idea.. But after reading three books, I have started to think so too, especially the second book, the one I enjoyed the most! I never knew that I would be so fond of this series when I started reading it (Who thought that I would read it in the first case!) I believe that on 26th, I'd be saying a goodbye to Trivandrum, for a pretty long time... All sorts of thoughts are creeping into my mind, and not knowing whats in store for me, expecting the worst, I still grip onto my decision, not giving an ear to anything else.. anybody else... So success is essential for me in the end, this misery should be worth it... And I am positive about that.. I dunno, its sort of an intuition, or is it a strong aspiration? Either way, I have made my mind to go and get it.. Tomorrow is 23rd, which leaves me 3 days to pack my stuff.. The packing has to be done all by myself, thats one of the saddest part. I have packed a bagful of crap, therefore all the packing has to be re-done.. And how it really have to be done, I have no idea about.. But above all that, I owe a lot of people a lot o stuff. A letter, a meeting, a treat, a phone call etc, and whatever time I have isn't enough for all these, plus I'm really confused as to how I am to go there and join all on my own. I do hope that bro will come along, but surely, he can't afford to miss his exams. Nope I wouldn't want that too.. I don't want to increase the amount of anyone's displeasure anymore. I have a plan, and I hope that it works out well. And in the meantime, I have to go to my *old* college and meet the Dean. He reminds me of Albus Dumbledore! I couldn't help thinking that he is mental right after I told him about my situations at home. After I told him everything, he asked me whether I would like to join his Leo Club. One side of my brain begged my legs to run away as fast as I can from this mad man. But the other side wasnt sure how to react. It took me very little time to realize that this was a person who took life very positively, and did not give a damn about any sort of misery. (He would have produced one of the best Patronus if he could!!!) But I am very much fond of our dean. Why so? Well its time to sleep.. I'll come and fill in later.. *yawn*

A new realization

Saw Shrek 2, The Fast and The Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Speed 1, Speed 2 all on the same day.. How horrible... I just wish if I could kick myself off to 29th of May.. I can't wait for my classes to start! And I think I am beginning to sound like a 7 yr old kid who is so eager for her classes to start and looking forward to show off her new rig; the new bag, umbrella, water bottle, lunch box etc..!!! But it isn't that.. I am like an alien who is so desperate to join the mother ship. And sitting simply has begun to bore me.. So I started reading Harry Potter, which was one book that I thought I'd never read. I do not like reading about magic, and I never liked fairy tales too.. hmm.. not exactly... I like Cinderella, but just because she was going through so much misery, and if magic was the only thing that could help her, so be it... Well where was I? Oh yes, Harry Potter.. Thats totally a different world, and magic isn't something unusual for them, its a part of their life, just like light bulbs, motors, ball-point pen etc r for us... But its too cheesy a subject as far as I'm concerned.. Well Harry Potter fans might kill me for this, but hey, its not just Harry.. Neo, Morpheus, Trinity.. all fits right in! Well, I have no problem reading about real people of the real world. I mean, books of Archer, Puzo and similar... But after reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I seem to have swept off my feet by someone.. Harry Potter? No.. Its her.. J. K. Rowling.. I read her biography long before I read her book, and whatever people said about her in it makes sense now. Because I read HP critically, though I enjoyed it! Her use of language is awesome, and the way she can make the readers glued to the book so intensely is absolutely remarkable.. Either it means that she's a great writer or else, I love magic somewhere deep inside!!! Well, anyway, only three other people could do the same effect on me, first, Enid Blyton; second, Jeffrey Archer and the third is one of my best friends from school, Lakshmi V. And now adding to the list, J. K. Rowling. I haven't read any of her other books. And if any non-magical ones r available, lemme try it out and see if there's an opinion change!

Hell?? Already???

Oh God!! What a month!!! What a start!!! Tensions and more of it coming up... One problem is almost solved.. Anyways, plenty of solutions have already been found... Like my friend said, if plan A doesn't work, go for plan B... So far, I've planned upto E level I think!! I just hope that it works, coz if it doesn't, then I'm done for... But now, things have turned out in favor of me.. Hence, I must consider myself lucky!! Maybe I'm God's favorite kid right now!!! Why? Have I been really good? Or am I that desperate? Yeah, the latter is more like it! But I'm a person who can be fooled easily, and therefore, I must not take these positive signs seriously... Maybe two or three days later, I'll realize that I'm back to square one. I hate square one!! Thats the saddest part, but no matter how many similar experiences I've had, I won't learn.. I won't learn that these signs mean nothing... and I won't learn that it is utterly useless to worry about them... I'm glad that God is there with me! And now speaking about the other problems... Well.. I think people tend to say anything when their head is on fire.. But I don't think that the situation heated up so much, so as to set fire to anybody's head... Maybe some people were overwhelmed about it... not me... But if the same luck continues in my life, maybe everything will turn out fine... But what I call "fine" are things that're fine only to my eyes, isn't it? Am I being foolish? When am I being more foolish? When I choose my own path? Or is it when I walk through the way that was set for me by someone? I've never made any decisions ever in my life so far. Life has been rude enough to make someone else to do that for me all the time. This time I'm not gonna let life do that mean old dirty trick on me. Coz I'm in charge of my life, and I will be, from now until I last..

Pissed off...

I asked him whether he's in a Sylvia Plath mood. But now I think that I am. Life sucks so much and everyone have been asking me why it is so at this "small" age itself.. I don't know whether they're making fun of me. Or do we really have to be at a particular age to say that life sucks? Anyway, I gotta admit, there have been too many signs that are suggesting me to adopt the extreme. But I'm scared to... scared because suddenly the unthinkable has happened.. How would have I thought that things would turn up so? Or am I mistaken? Hasn't been there any change in this world? Is it just seemingly or superficially wonderful? I've had moments like this before in my life too, but they all led to horrible aftermaths, and their memorries still make my eyes water sometimes. Is it the heart that wins where blood fails or is it vice versa? I'll have to see for myself.. i.e if I can.. which means, before the crucial moment. I miss someone very deeply. It might be him.. I'm sure, it is him. Absence makes heart grow fonder, is it? Let him come, I've got a heavy heart and I need to open up. So let him come, and I hope that the inevitable does not happen before his return. I'm wondering now.. about something that he said some time back. What if he's right? I'll probably kill myself if he is, but maybe he was suggesting the extreme, so that his good friend wouldn't be that sad when she realizes the truth, after having expected the worst. God!! I can't wait for him to come back, coz eighty-nine days is a very long time for a best friend to stay apart. Tomorrow's May 1st. A great, big voidness for a whole month awaits me. Hope I won't kill myself out of boredom...

A new start...

Having posted absolutely useless stuff till now, atleast as I think so, I have thought about a fresh start. So here I am, blogging at 2:54am, as if affected by insomnia.. Insomnia?? Nope.. Absolutely not... This is just some sort of excitement about something... The thing that u feel the night before a study tour or excursion!! Hmm.. It reminds me of my 11th standard excursion from school. We went to Goa, by train, on a pleasant Saturday morning. Goa was interesting, but the best part of the trip was the robbery in the train. Poor thief!! Too bad for him that we were on our return trip when he planned to thieve!! He must have gone "!@#$%" when he found our empty purses!! 11th and 12th standards in my alma mater... for me, those were the days! Seriously, I think my present college isn't half as cool as my school was.. This particular engineering college is the saddest institution in the country according to all of us, the unlucky ones studying there.. But now the situations r changing, and I personally think that the conditions r worsening every year, I mean, as far as the management is concerned.. Their dreams of bringing up a Well Disciplined Professional College are almost shattered. C'mon... what were they thinking of? holding the leash of 22 yr old students? Perish the thought.. No student unions, and no representatives from the students side... This isnt a war, I know.. I'm just more than glad to leave this college. In just 5 months, I managed to get some excellent friends there, and the most touching moment in this college was when one of them cried when I said that I'm leaving... She's my favorite out of everyone.. She knows it too even if I haven't said it out. She'll be almost alone after I go... We both seem to be in the same frequency, and our hearts r so close to each other's. And I guess nobody will ever understand her as I have. Such a sincere and selfless friend like her is so hard to find.. Therefore its tough for me to say goodbye as well.. The song "Yun hi chala" from Swades is really something.. I've been listening to it over and over again for a long time.. And its not irritating at all.. A R Rahman music is for everyone in every mood!

Title doesnt matter

I am totally confused now. What should I do? Go back to engineering? Or to stay firm on my decision to do what I really wanna do? My mom pointed out all the benefits of engineering.. Let me recollect them... * Its easy to get a job * My future will be safe * Its a plus point in getting an alliance * It has a good status status in the society * Its a valid degree anywhere in the world * It is possible to go for a no. of other jobs besides engg * Etc, etc.. I dont have any benefits to point out regarding fashion designing because luck has to play an important part besides skill, and also, money matters a lot. Coming from an upper middle class family, I have the need to get a job as soon as my studies r over, and I must be careful enough not to spend much money over my studies. But money isnt't the problem here as far as I know. Its the ego thats causing the problem.. Someone is taking all this as a prestige issue. As if I'm trying to take somebody else's side and is trying to crush someone down... Isnt someone forgetting that we're all one family? I am sick of this.. I've seen enough of this, and if I can escape to some place where I wont have to see this, I wouldn't miss the chance.

Which Greek God am I?

Morpheus Which Of The Greek Gods Are You brought to you by Quizilla I've taken a lot of similiar tests like this one, though I dont believe in all this.. But if all of them should give similiar results, either there might be something true about it, or they were all created by the same people!!

Confused or what...

Of course, I'm happy that I made it into Assumption College for fashion designing; my dream has almost come true. But I wish that it was not Assumption, but some other college in B'lore. Assumption offers a valid degree from a known university, but I need enough exposure into this field coz I'm aspiring to make it big into this field, and not jus make it into it. But there's another problem brewing up at my home. I really wish that my mom would whole-heartedly send me for this degree. But I dont see that happening. Anyways, I've decided to go, my bro and dad agrees with me, and eventually, mom will too.. I know that and I hope so... Other than that, today was a great day, but I keep wondering why people who dont even know me properly take the interest and liberty to judge me. Why the hell do they care for what I do? It does not affect them in any way, does it? I'm a very sensitive person, I take criticism right to my heart, especially from people who doesnt know anything about my situations. I've never been in their way, have I? Or is it that they don't want me around anywhere? The fact that I'm a very sensitive and emotional person is unknown to most.. The slighest degree of anger, hatred, sarcasm, neglect etc can set me crying bitterly... Thats my worst drawback, I cry like a baby when I'm emotionally broken down and I cannot hold back my tears even if it is in the public.. But I try my level best not to do so, though... Of course, when tears come to our eyes, our vision will be certainly blurred, thats my strength!! As long as we can't see them, we don't have to care about the presence of others..!!! Well, there're a hell lot of reasons around me to cry about, and a hell lot of others to laugh about.. And also, there're some other things too, about which I dont know whether to cry or laugh... Therefore right now, I'm puzzled... and sleepy too... So I'm gonna try and get some good sleep right after this...

Swear words..

Its a pity that I dont use swear words... Though I know a hell lot of them, I never become profane. Then how shall I let out my anger, frustration, sadness and all? In the morning, there were only a few reasons, but as the day got older, I think enough reasons popped up to drown me in. Are there only frauds in this world? Why can't I ever meet people who are a bit more nice? And why is the world becoming such a tough place for me day by day? God! I wish I wasnt born.. Or else, make me invisible, so that I can kill a few people out there. Really!! This has gone too far, and I cant take it anymore. As I feared, that ghastly animal in me has begun to rupture out of its lair and is about to take out a few lives too.. But the thing i want to ask to myself is why am I so much worried about people who doesnt mean anything to me? or do they really mean a lot to me, and i'm jus ignorant abt it?? In that case, I'm damn possessive and thats whats making me feel this way right now... But do they feel about me the same way that I feel about them? Is everyone truthful about their feelings? I dont think so.. Relationships have lost their value.. Frauds rule... and the ones who really put their time and effort to make a relation work are just fools who do not get back anything in return for their strain.

Life sucks..

Life sucks.. atleast for the moment, i feel so.. Nothing's happening. Till last week, I had something to get me going, and that was the exam for selection to Bachelor of Fashion Technology degree, in Assumption College. Now that its over, its frustration period for me.. Will I get through, or won't I? The hype is over, its the boring engineering life again. I have to complete records and the never-ending assignments. How did I bring myself into some place that I never ever wanted to tread upon? Maybe thats what engineering is all about!! Life truly sucks big time... I am feeling depressed right now. Many of my friends have misunderstood me.. They have imagined me as someone whom i can never be even in their worst nightmares. What should I do? I don't have the patience to make them understand who I am. Now some of them think that I've been avoiding them, which is something I wouldnt do ever in my life... Atleast, if I'm avoiding anybody, I'll take care to see that the person doesnt feel so!! So far I've tried to keep everybody happy. If u try to make everyone happy, then ur life will suck for sure... Thats what I've heard.. Maybe thats whats happening to me right now. Haven't I heard somewhere.. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.. Its a song, and it makes sense to me right now.. Gawwwd help me out of this crazy mood.. I maybe very much passionate about solitude. But that's the solitude which i create myself, and not the one thats imposed on me... See... this is what happens when I am left alone at home...

My first blog

At last... I too started blogging! But the problem is that, I dunno exactly how to blog..! I have never even read a single blog ever.. So how am I gonna go about it? Lemme see, what is the difficulty? Just type whatever thats coming to your mind.. But till now, I guess I have deleted much more than than what I can see here... Ahh.. maybe its because its the first time! Its just a blog, its nothing to get overwhelmed about...! But thats me... I'm someone who gets tensed up for even the simple things in life.. OK, this is too pathetic! Coz I've been sitting in front of this computer for over a minute wondering what to type.. I hope something good comes along that will help me gain momentum... hmm... Well.. I have something interesting to share.. I'll talk about some miserable beverages. I tried tonic water for the first time. It tastes like... like... I dunno... anyway its really crappy and yucky... Its my bro who wanted to taste it... He tried the Non-Alcoholic Malt-Beverage too... of course, I took a sip.. And I discovered something.. its the second yuckiest thing next to tonic water! But there are some interesting drinks too... Ginger beer for instance.. I wont regret myself for trying it out... Ever since i read about it in Famous Five, I wanted to give it a try! Okay enough with the drinks... and btw, i realized something, if i really have something to blog about, then this becomes purely fun! But right now, I am out of material...! Moreover, this is just a test, if there's a "delete" option, surely, this one's going into the trash! Its past lunch time, and my long wait for my brother to come back home is over.. Gotta have something!